Invitations MUST be properly addressed to individuals, couples (married or unmarried), invidividuals with friends, and families. This is so that the recipient understands the number of people that are assumed to be invited.

RSVP on the Invitation - Be advised that the use of RSVP or its many variations are often ignored due to a lack of etiquette on the part of many recipients. Worse, the use of "RSVP Regrets Only" guarantees the guest who did not send you the respond may not come anyway.

You have the best chance of getting an accurate count of guests when you include a separate, pre-addressed, pre-stamped Respond Card. But the reason for addressing and stamping the card is not just to insure a response, it is required. In other words, never send a Respond Card without it being pre-addressed and stamped.

If you have purchased "generic" responds (responds with a pre-printed M______ or even just a blank area), NEVER send that card without filling in the GUEST NAME(S). Some so-called Wedding Professionals may tell you otherwise. We are informing you that they are wrong and here is the reason. When you are inviting a guest(s), both the outer envelope and the inner (if included) includes the guest name. Thus, that is who you are inviting. That same name(s) must be on the Respond. The guest is not entitled to change it.

When you receive an Invitation to any function, the Outer Envelope specifically states who is being invited. In some cases, when an Inner Envelope is included, this may further delineate the invitees (often by first name). If your children are not listed, they are not invited and neither is your Aunt Sally who might be staying with you.

A guest receiving a Respond Card MUST mark and return the card. If the Invitation (and enclosed Respond Card) is addressed to an invidual, the guest is not permitted to include anyone else. He or she should call if the Invitation was improperly addressed or to request permission to bring someone else.

You may never alter the guest name as written on the Respond. You may however, cross out a name (say, your husband) if he cannot attend. You can also mark the card with a number attending instead of simply putting a checkmark on the card.

An invitee who is addressed as a couple (say "Mr. and Mrs.") who through some circumstance cannot attend as a pair, should inform the Bride (or Host) which person is attending and possibly why the other person cannot.

Respond Cards often include "___ will ___ will not attend" or some similar wording. You can put a checkmark appropriately OR enter the number of people in your party.

Never ignore an Invitation marked with an RSVP. You may receive "junk mail" so marked and be in the habit of disposing it. Fine! Be aware that there is a difference.

Since the InvitationsEtc web site focuses on the subject of "invitations", we are not going to fill you in on all the other etiquette requirements. Subjects such as attire, gifting, and so on are covered in the following books. These are well known and excellent resources on etiquette, wordings, addressing and other matters:

Nancy Tuckerman and Nancy Dunnan, The Amy Vanderbilt Complete Book of Etiquette - Entirely Rewritten and Updated, Doubleday, 1995. ISBN 0-385-41342-4

Steven L. Feinberg, Crane's Blue Book of Stationery, Doubleday, 1989.